I've been bad....

really, I have.  I've been a bad blogger.  I've been a bad runner.  I've been bad at a lot of things. 

The past 2 weeks have been overwhelming,  to say the least.  Some of the highlights:

- transmission went on my van. (this is a long saga that involved a lot of money and also included a flat tire and a longish road trip with screaming children)
- baby's first ear illness (okay so it was just an ear infection no big thing but still....)
- cell phone broke (still in the process of sorting that one out)
- busy at work. extra shifts. (and lots of frustration there) 

All of those things combined to make for a very busy, very frustrating and very UNMOTIVATED week (or 2)

Through the whole car fiasco I managed to (kinda) keep from freaking out and although I didn't really make it to the gym I still got my runs in.  But last week with the sick baby, working overtime and I think the stress of the previous week catching up to me I only ran twice.

This week.  nothing. nada. big fat goose egg.  I worked an extra 5 or 6 hours on Tuesday, plus monday was halloween.  but dammit- I don't feel like running.  or spinning. or anything.  The baby is better but he is all over the place and is non stop all day.  I can barely get the house picked up and get a load of laundry thrown in.

 People ask me how I manage to get time to workout and run as much as I do and my answer is usually that my house is a mess. Then I laugh, ha ha ha...but really it is.  But mostly its because I make it a priority- of course the kids are the number one and work number 2  but getting to the gym or running is like number 3 or 4.   But the past 2 weeks it got bumped way, way, way down on the list.  I know that its normal for that to happen.  I know things are going to come up but it still makes me feel like a failure.   

In an effort to turn things around, I got new running shoes yesterday. It will be my first time running in a neutral shoe instead of a stability shoe.  This week is pretty much shot since tomorrow is back to work again but I'm going to try to do a short run today sometime and <barring any more catastrophes> hop back on the wagon next week. 

1 month until my come back race!!! 

my schedule has left the building

Sometimes its just hard to keep to a schedule no matter how hard you try. 

The past 2 weeks I was pretty on it as far as my workouts go.  I had a 15 mile week and then a 16 mile week. Plus spin classes and yoga.  I even managed to get caught up on laundry and kinda straighten up the house. kinda.

This week....not so much.  Mondays are hard because I am coming off a stretch of 3 12 hour shifts.  My nurse friends all know that 3 12's in a row is rough.  Especially if you have 3 busy shifts.  I just wasn't feeling it on Monday.  I did get up and go to spin but I didn't run.  I got up and did track on Tuesday and had a good morning.  Ran with a friend who is faster and I was trying to keep up (I did a pretty good job of it until the end!) then I got a call from work asking for help so I went in and worked 10-7.  No yoga.  Yesterday I was trying to catch up on housework and didn't go to spin.  I managed to get in a quick run last night.  It was pretty awesome.  I only did 3.2 but I felt fast and it felt pretty easy.  I didn't wear my Garmin (might be why it felt so fast) so we will never know but I'm just gonna say it was a PR! 

That brings us to today.  I picked up extra time at work but I'm 'on-call' so I am still at home but have to be ready to go in.   I have a sick 7 year old at home plus the baby.  (Hubby stayed home in case I get called in) I think I should be able to get a long run in this evening but still- thats at least 3 missed workouts this week.  not good. 

There is a bright side.  My 3 miles last night felt really easy.  Amazing how the shorter distances are cake once you start doing longer distances.  And even though it hasn't been going the way I want it to I've still gotten workouts in.  If I can get a longish run in today then my mileage isn't totally shot for the week. 

Next week will be better.  I hope. 

Anyone else having trouble saying no to Halloween candy??  Those mini snickers are really getting me.  No wonder I haven't lost any weight in 3 weeks! 

Randomness

No cohesive post today.  Just some random babbling.

 - I had to invest in a spibelt because I need to be able to carry my phone with me on a long run. I really like it.  It stretches to hold what you need and doesn't jiggle.   I also have been trying to be really good about wearing my road ID.  If you are a runner you should have a road ID. 

- I like the honey stingers gels.  Took them with me on my long run last week and definitely needed them by mile 5.  What do you use on your long runs?  I also have the Hammer Fizz for my water bottle.  Got talked into that one instead of the Nuun I went to buy because it doesn't have any artificial sweetners.  Think I'm still gonna try the Nuun but the fizz is okay. 

- I think its about time for new running shoes.  How often do you change your running shoes? 

- I have been dropping weight during the week and gaining on the weekends when I work.  I'm not eating very good when I am at work.  I need to work on that.  Apparently running and breastfeeding will only get me so far.

-In about 10lbs I think I will be able to fit pre-pregnancy clothes.  You would think that would be incentive enough to watch what I put in my mouth but sadly it is not.  But there has been lots of yummy cake around lately and I like cake.

-My right quad is sore from running Monday night and then again Tuesday morning.  I really need to run in the morning NOT evening.

-I just finished breakfast and I'm already thinking about what I am going to eat for lunch.  What should I eat for lunch? 

- I need a new fall playlist.  What are you listening to?? 

-last week I logged 15 miles. This week should be 15 or 16.  I feel like a runner again. Wish I looked like a runner.

-I ran out of deodorant. I've been using my husbands.  Guess I should go buy my own before Friday so I don't go to work smelling like a man.

-You should answer some of the questions I asked. 

double digits

I'm 2 weeks into my 1/2 marathon training.  Last week was my first double digit week.  I ran just over 10 miles for the week including a 5 mile run in the rain Thursday night. 

I really need to get 4 miles in today but I also just worked 3 days in a row, have a ton of laundry to do, have to get groceries, want to take Mr. Baby to story time and I have a cold.  Since I didnt run early in the morning it will have to wait until after J gets home from work.  Which means 4 miles tonight and then track at 6am tomorrow.  Thats hard.  I'll do it though. 

Trying to decide if I feel like doing spin today.  I think I don't but will probably feel better if I do.

Haven't lost any weight recently.  Like in 2 weeks.  This last 20lbs is going to be hard.  Its easier to stay motivated when the scale is being nice to you. 

In other news,  I've got a lot of Halloween decorations up.  Love this time of year.  I've also had lots of pumpkin spice latte's but no pumpkin pancakes yet.  I think I might make some pumpkin muffins this week. 

Hope I get my motivation back soon.

 10 weeks til race day.

1/2 training kick off and the saga of the foot

This week starts my 1/2 marathon training.  From now on I will be focusing on running.  I would like to continue to go to pump at least once a week and spin 2x/week to crosstrain but the focus will be running. 

My plan is to do a tempo run Monday, track Tuesday and then a long run Thursday.  I didn't exactly know that was my plan until this morning so yesterday I just did spin. 

Once again I am going to state my goals that I hope to accomplish by the time of OUC 1/2 (that would be first weekend in December) exactly 12 weeks away. 

In order of importance:

1- complete OUC 1/2 marathon
2- Lose 20 lbs.
3- Finish the race in a respectable time (would a PR be asking too much?)

I'd gladly sacrifice a PR in order to lose 20 lbs but I have a feeling if I lose the 20 then I will have a good shot at a PR. 


So whats my biggest obstacle right now?

MY FOOT!!!  Here's the story.  When baby was a few weeks old I stepped on glass.  We pulled it out (or so we thought) with tweezers and it was still sore but I was walking fine no big deal.  Then it gradually started hurting again and felt like there was still something there so of course, we dug at it and couldn't find anything so I went to my doctors office (they had a podiatrist there) and had him look at it, they did an xray and he scraped at it and said that he saw the trajectory of the glass but didn't see anything obvious there but it actually felt a little better so we kind of assumed that maybe it was a tiny sliver and he shaved it off.  But now its back.  The other night I felt like I pulled a piece of something out of it but its still hard and feels like there is something there.  So I had Jon look at last night and he said he thought he saw something shiny but couldn't get it.  It doesn't hurt so bad that I can't run on it but its right on the ball of my foot and I feel like I am starting to compensate a little.  I definitely have pain when I bump it or touch it.  I figured I better get it taken care of now at the beginning of training rather than run on it until I can't anymore. 

So I made an appointment with another doctor.  I go this afternoon.  I am really hoping she can figure it out and help me. Not only help me but make it better right away and not impact my running.  Is that too much to ask?  No, I don't think so either.  So wish me luck at the podiatrist this afternoon. 

ITS TIME!!!

PUMPKIN TIME!!!

I am breaking from any talk of training to talk to you about something important and near and dear to my heart.  PUMPKIN!!!

I love pumpkin!!  I am the Bubba Gump of pumpkin.  I love pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin ravioli, pumpkin spice latte's, pumpkin martinis, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cake, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin risotto......did I miss anything???  And it doesn't even have to be food!  I like pumpkin candles, pumpkin body wash, pumpkin lotion, pumpkin EVERYTHING!!!!

The only pumpkin thing that I don't like is pumpkin beer.  And thats just because I don't like beer and it doesn't really taste like pumpkin at all.  But I would be up for trying it again if someone could recommend one that really does taste like pumpkin.

My first pumpkin purchase this year?  A pumpkin harvest febreeze air freshener.  It might be 90 degrees out but my house smells like fall. 

I don't know why I like pumpkin so much.  I guess because I have a fall birthday and because I love Halloween.  Maybe because its just damn tasty and yummy smelling?  Maybe because its one of those things that you can only get a few months out of the year.  Even though now you can get it year round I still limit myself to September-December.  I don't think I would love it as much if I had it more often than that.  It just wouldn't be right to have pumpkin anything in July!

So do you have any good pumpkin recipes?  Let me know, or even better just make it for me (I don't cook much)!  If you go to a restaurant that serves an awesome pumpkin dish, please tell me.  And if you notice Starbucks selling pumpkin lattes before I notice it please tell me!!! 

I think this year I am going to get a pumpkin facial. One year I dressed up as a pumpkin girl for Halloween.  I can't seem to find a pic, though.  Trust me, it was cute. 

HAPPY PUMPKIN SEASON!!!!

just breathe

Just finished doing 5 days in a row.  I was technically scheduled for 5- 12 hour shifts, friday through tuesday.  That could have been really bad.  It could have been extremely busy all 5 days but it wasn't.  I ended up only working 3 full shifts and 2 partial shifts but I was at work the past 5 days and that kinda sucks no matter how you look at it.

My house is a MESS!  I have a TON of laundry to catch up on and I really don't feel like doing any of it. I started some laundry and cleaned the kitchen.  I'm really trying to get up the energy to fold and put away some laundry while baby is napping but it feels so good to just sit and do nothing. 

I think I am done scheduling myself for overtime for a while.  Its not worth it.  AND its running season now.  Or at least its heading into running season.  I'm going to be full on training for OUC 1/2.   I'm not exactly sure when the group starts training but as of next Tuesday I will be doing track and trying to increase my running miles and definitely within the next few weeks will start a training plan. So excited to actually be training again!
 Here are my fall goals:

1) Run OUC 1/2.  No time constraints- just finish it. 
2) Lose 20 lbs.  (would love to hit pre-preg weight by December!)

And thats all I've got for the fall.  Anyone else have any fall training goals or races? 

Hopefully the blog will get a little more interesting now since I won't just be randomly bitching but I will actually be training for a race.  It surprises me when I talk to people and they say something about the blog.  I kind of just babble on here and it helps me stay on task for my workouts.  I sort of forget that people actually read it sometimes. 

Next time I write will be about my FAVORITE part of fall.  Those who know me well won't be surprised.  Anyone have any guesses about my favorite fall thing????

Every run is a PR....

when you suck!!

 j/k but that really is a good thing about starting over.  Last year when I was running a lot it seemed like every race I was shaving minutes off of my times.  I knew it wouldn't last forever, that eventually I would get to a point that I couldn't take that much time off.  But now I am slow again and most nights when I go out I'm running faster.   I have a loop thats about 3.22-3.24 miles.  I ran it 2 weeks ago in 36min then last week 35m and this week 34.  Closing in on that 30 min mark.  I really need to start increasing my mileage, though.  I've been sticking between 2 to just over 3 miles.  I think I am ready for 4, but it will be slow! 

This weeks total mileage is at about 7 1/2.  I'd like to get to 8-9 next week and be in double digits before October.

So far I've lost almost 40 lbs.  Pretty awesome.  I kind of thought from the beginning that I would lose the first 30 or so pretty easily.  I'm happy it worked out that way.  I really haven't dieted at all.  I kind of watch what I eat.  I have a diet heavy in fruits and veggies and whole grains.  I don't eat a lot of fried foods or high fat foods.  I try not to eat too much dairy (only because it doesn't agree with Mr Baby)  I do still like sweets but I am not eating them like I was before. Mostly I run and go to the gym (spin/body pump).  I am keeping my calories up because 1) breastfeeding 2) metabolism.  Anyone can lose weight if you drastically cut calories.   I like to keep my calories up and increase my workouts and boost my metabolism.  It worked before and I'm hoping it works again.  I like to eat!! 

I didn't do so hot at the gym this week.  Didn't make it to pump.  I had one good spin class and one crappy one.  I ran 3x.  After this week I will really be boosting up my running in preparation for OUC 1/2.  I will definitely have to adjust my training schedule.  I am hoping to continue to get at least 1 day of weights.  I think in addition I would like to only spin 1-2 days and add a yoga day. 

Goal: 3-4 days running
          1-2 spin classes
          1 yoga class
          1- body pump 

That is my fall training plan.  I'm giving up on swimming until spring!  I'm hoping to lose the last 20lbs by December.  That's 3 months.  Think I can do it??? I'll keep you posted!

so you want to be a runner??

I was always jealous of the runners.  I wanted to be one but felt like I couldn't do it for whatever lame ass excuse I could come up with at the time. (I get too bored, I get out of breath too easily, I'm too slow, I have to walk too much, it's so hot, my knees/shins/feet hurt) Then I decided to be a runner.  and I was. That easy.  Here's my advice to those of you (I know you're out there!) who want to be runners.

1) Big secret....we all hate to run.  Sure, there are a few freaks of nature out there who really just love it but most people don't love it ALL the time.  I love how I feel after. I love how I feel when I have a great run or a great time.  I love when I'm feeling frustrated/angry/upset and can work it all out on a run.  But most of the time I don't want to start.  The first 1/2-1 mile is almost always hard and sometimes I am bitching to myself the whole, damn way.  But then I finish and think wow, that was great.  You just need to suck it up and do it and stop the excuses. 

2) Buy good shoes.  Really.  Go to a running store and get fitted.  plan to spend about $80-$100.  If you want to run you need running shoes.  This is not a place to be cheap.  Especially if you have issues (shin splints, plantar fascitis, etc) but really, even without issues you need good running shoes.

   I also think that a watch and comfortable running clothes are pretty important.  I'm not talking about spending a ton of money.  Just a cheapo stopwatch to help you keep track of your times and some clothes that don't ride up, fall down or make you chafe and a good supportive sports bra if you need it!! You can get all of that at Target for not very much money.

3) Just because a certain program doesn't work for you doesn't mean you aren't a runner.  I'll admit it.  I HATED couch to 5k.  I couldn't tell you why, I didn't even really do it.  I just read it and it seemed like SO much work to me.  Here's my running plan:

     -get good shoes

     -map out a certain distance in my neighborhood (1mile, 2miles, 3miles, etc)

     -go run it

     -try to get faster/go further every time

for real.  thats where I am at right now.  Now, I have had a more formalized running program but that was with a group and I didn't really have to think about it.  Thats what I love most about running.  I don't have to think- or I guess more specifically I can let my thoughts go anywhere and not really focus on what I am doing.  A lot of people love, love, love c25k.  More power to them if that is what works.  But keep in mind there is also Galloway program, running programs on runners world and lots of other places.  One of my favorite running books (another mother runner) is coming out with a book of training plans next spring.  Basically, what I'm saying is if one thing doesn't work for you try something else. 

4) Find friends.  There are lots of places to find people to run with.  A training club, a meet-up group.  Its scary, I know it is.  I'm a pretty social person and even I find it scary to join a brand new group but it will be the best thing you can do.  I promise.  You will find friends and you will get better and get faster.  There is so much to say about joining a training group that I will have to make it a whole post on its own.  But for now I will say that groups are the same as training plans...if one doesn't work out for you just try another!

5) Sign up for a race.  Signing up for races is what keeps me motivated even when I don't want to train.  Its what pushes me to go out to that workout when I'm tired and just don't feel like it.  Plus, race day is just plain fun.  You get a t-shirt, sometimes a medal there's always food at the end and a lot of times there's beer!  You feel super accomplished because you set a goal and you stuck to it.  And if you don't enjoy race day and you still think running sucks then you can say hey, I did this and it wasn't for me. 

Ultimately, you have to like it enough to invest the work.  Its one thing to say you want to do it but if you want to be a runner you have to make time to run.  Trust me, I know how hard it is to find the time but if you really want to run you will make time.  You have to know that every run isn't going to be awesome but you need both the good runs AND the sucky runs in order to get better.  Getting past the sucky runs is what makes the good runs so good. 

Now go get some shoes and sign up for a race!! 

PLAYLIST!

I had a great run tonight.  I've mostly been running my little 5k loop around the neighborhood.  (its actually 3.22) The past 3 times I've done it I've been able to do it with no walking and have gotten faster each time.  Tonight I actually felt good the whole time and didn't feel like I needed to walk at all.  The other times I wanted to walk but pushed myself to keep going.   Tonight was 34:47 and I really did feel like I could have pushed harder.  Definitely making some improvements.  I think I can work towards more speed and maybe even start adding some distance.

I really needed a good run.  I've been feeling frustrated again because I've been at the same weight for the past 2 weeks and it drives me crazy.  But I remembered tonight that I like to run. And I also like to eat and if I run a lot I can eat more.  When I am running more (or biking/spinning) I tend to want to eat healthier foods but I don't really feel guilty about eating dessert here and there or having wine, etc.  Its a workable plan!!  I lost weight and got in shape before by running and biking (and some swimming) and by making reasonable food choices.  It took some time then and its going to take time now but I'm sure it will work eventually.  Find something you love and stick to it and the rest will fall into place.   I am going to try to be more patient with myself and not be so damn scale obsessed!!  (I said TRY, its a tall order for me)

Now on to the playlist!!  I picked out a playlist to share last week but wanted to run to it first to see how it was.  Tonight I ran to it and had a fabulous run so I guess its a winner.  I did have the songs in a certain order but forgot to switch off of shuffle so they ended up mixed up and it worked.  The music is pretty all over the place but I like that when I run because I don't get bored. I guess its pretty heavily hip-hop/dancish, though.  I also like to alternate faster and slower songs and I really like songs that drop lots of f-bombs so if you are easily offended make your own playlist. 

I think you can tell a lot about a person by what they listen to.  Wonder what my playlist says about me??  Without further ado....here's blog playlist #1:

Novocane- Frank Ocean

Stronger- Kanye West

Closer- Ne-yo

Bad Influence- Pink

Savior- Rise Against

Crystalised- The XX

Fell in Love with a Boy- Joss Stone

Rockstar- N.E.R.D

Look at me now- Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, Busta Rhymes

Dirrty(tracey young remix)- Christina Aguilera

Rock that Body- Black Eyed Peas

Emerge- Fischerspooner

Let me know if you like it and if you do I'll post another in a few weeks.  Plase feel free to share what you are listening to as well.  I need to change around my music A LOT and always appreciate good recommendations. 

whoa busy

Didn't forget about the blog- I've been working on some posts but can't seem to pull together my ideas.  Just have been super busy.  Here's whats up:

I'm now working 4 days a week starting this week.  Its crazy busy at work and we are a bit short so I decided to suck it up and take some overtime for the next month.  That leaves me just 3 days a week to work out, which sucks..BUT once I come out of this little over time stint I'll go right into training for OUC 1/2.

My weight loss was going awesome I got almost to my 2nd goal and then STALL the past week and 1/2.  I've actually gained a couple back and not losing the past few days.  Sucks because I'm running more now.   I am feeling better but then I go to try on clothes and they are still tight, so I get frustrated.  We'll see what the next week or 2 brings.  Maybe it will be another big loss.  Big thanks to my work friends who have been really supportive and encouraging and keep telling me how good I'm doing.  You guys are keeping me positive and I appreciate it.

Like I said, I'm running more.  I ran 3 times last week.  2 miles then track on Tuesday (total maybe 5 miles but doing Kenyans and I didn't keep track) then last Thursday I ran 3.22 for the first time without stopping!!  That was the first time I've been able to do that since starting again.  I'm thinking I ran a total of about 10-ish miles last week.  Guess I should wear my Garmin at track to keep track of mileage.  Unfortunately my overtime days are on Tuesdays so I won't be able to make track for a while.  So far this week I've gotten in another 3.22 mile run- without any walk breaks and I took a minute off of my time from last week.  Its coming back. slowly.


Working on a post with my advice for people who say they want to run but they can't and also working on a running playlist to post.  Hopefully I can get it together to share those with you guys. 

wrap up

Things I know this week. 

-It is a little cooler in hell right now than it is in Florida.  I'm sure of it.

-Teething babies do not sleep well.  And they eat.  A lot.

-Melanie should totally win SYTYCD.

-menu planning and couponing is hard and totally not my thing.

-vegetarians should not cook meat.  I have a horrible burn on my arm from trying to cook meat for the hubster.  (hot oil splattered on me) It hurts and I'm sure its some kind of cow karma.


Overall not a bad week. (other than the burn on my arm) Could have been better for sure but I am feeling more glass half full today. 

Monday:  Took 2 of 3 kids in for shots.  Bigger kid did great with them and the little one not so much.  He has been fussy the whole rest of the week and that has been challenging.  He pretty much wants to nurse and be held about 80% of the time.  But today it feels like there might be a little tooth working its way in.  Its not through yet but it feels like there is a little bump there.  After the doctor appt. I went to work for some overtime hours so no workout done that day. 

Tuesday:  wanted to go to track but due to fussy/cranky baby I didn't make it.  I did get out around 7 and did my normal 5k loop and felt okay about it. Garmin wasn't charged so I don't have a time.  I went to bodypump later in the day.

Wed: spin.  thats it.  good class. 

Thurs:  pump and then the 5k loop again (ended up being 3.2m) I went out at 6pm.  HOT. HOT. HOT. and I was pretty slow.  I actually stopped to walk twice.  The first time just for a little but the second time I walked about 1/2m.  I felt okay just was so hot and my heart rate was pretty jacked up.  I ended up doing it in 39 minutes.  SLOOOOOOWWW.  but like I said I'm feeling good about the week and I'm just happy I got out there twice.  Every run I do is a step in the right direction.  I'm going to be slow while I build back up.  Getting faster will happen as long as I keep getting out there.  Thats the hard part.

I'm also losing weight again after a few weeks at the same weight.  I'm now down another 2-3 lbs.  That puts me about 2-3 away from the 2nd goal 10.  I'm really glad I decided to break things into 10 lb increments.  Its so much more manageable.  Even though I have at least 32 more to lose it's only 2 to go until I get a little reward. 

Now I work for the next 3.  Hopefully I can keep up the positive attitude through next week.  Next week should be a full 4 day training week so I'm hoping to fit a lot in. 

narrow bridge

I saw this quote the other day and loved it:

"Being pregnant and giving birth are like crossing a narrow bridge. People can accompany you to the bridge. They can greet you on the other side. But you walk that bridge alone.” African Proverb

I have often said something like that about birth and thoughts like this (but with many 4-letter words)went through my head during my last birth. No matter what the circumstances are or how many wonderful people you have there to support you the fact is no one can do it for you.  The work of birth is the work of the woman.  You own it. 

You can apply this to training and racing, too.  I felt that way when I did St. Anthony's.  On the swim the water was so rough and I am not a super strong swimmer. I really thought I was going to die.  But then I thought "there is no one who is going to notice if one little pink cap goes under the water and doesn't come back up. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!"  I mentally cursed everyone I could think of who could be responsible for me being in this predicament (mostly my coach but also my husband and friends for telling me I would be fine, of course, we all know it was my idea) but I mentally picked myself up and swam to the end.  I swore that as soon as I got out of the water I was handing in my chip and quitting.  But I didn't. I got out of the water and ran to my bike and I finished the race. 

It really helps to have friends to train with and people who can support and encourage you but in the end its you who has to get up early and do the workout.  Its you who has to give up something to be able to fit in training time.  Its you who has to not eat the cake to lose the weight. (who am I kidding I always eat the cake!)  At times, I wonder if I could do more.  If I could fit in another workout.  If I could make those morning workouts work.   I have wonderful people who support me but they can't do the work for me. Right now I'm just on that bridge trying to get over it the best I can. 

I'll do a weekly wrap up post later after I get today's workouts in. 

this week

I'm going to run. 

track tuesday.

a longish run on another day (longish for my current ability so, like 3-ish miles).

I want to be a runner again.  Need to just DO IT!

RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. 

Time for a facelift

For the blog...not for me.  I think I have a few more good years before I have to start thinking facelift for me! 

So what do you think???  The other layout was crappy, I know.  I'm new to this bloggy thing and still trying to figure it all out.  But I think this is much better.  I'll try to keep making changes as I learn more. 

This week was definitely a better week, for the most part.  Here's the stats:

spin 3x
run 1x (only a mile!)
pump 1x

weight loss 0

Since last week I did NOTHING thats a pretty good week.  I do wish the weight would start coming off a bit faster, though.  Next week I really need to figure out how to get in some running time.  And maybe I can actually get in the pool once. 

Anyone hear of the book "The Eat Clean Diet" by Tosca Reno?  I've heard some good things about it.  Not really a diet so much as a way to eat healthier and cut back on the refined processed crap.  Guess she has some good tips, recipes and food ideas to incorporate into a normal busy life.  Maybe I will get and review for my followers.  All 11 of you!

If I can get in a swim and some running next week I might re-visit the idea of doing the 8/20 tri.  I'm still thinking its not likely but I'll keep you posted.  Gotta take it day by day!

music makes the run faster

Had a GREAT workout last night! A good spin class followed by a 1 mile run.  Not a huge workout but a good one! The run was the best I've felt running since I started running again.  Now it was only 1 mile but it was straight off of the bike.  I went to pump today and was thinking about running but probably won't get to it.  Thats okay though I can keep last nights run fresh in my mind for a while longer.  A year ago I would laugh about being so excited about a measly 1 mile.  I don't even know how fast it was I didn't wear a watch at all.  It was probably a 12 minute mile- but I felt fast and thats what matters right now.

Last night I was listening to a new playlist and thinking how much music can make the run better.  I can (and have) run w/o music.  My mp3 player wasn't working during gasparilla 1/2 and I had to run w/o music.  That was a PR race for me, too.  2:01  I never run with music at track and sometimes on training runs with the group I chat instead of listen.  On my own, though, I am usually listening to something.

I'm always looking for music thats good for running.  Last  night Dog days of Summer by Florence and the Machines came on and it was awesome.  It even tells you to run fast in the song!!  Also loving Novocane by Frank Ocean.  Its dirty but I like it.  I think if you ran through my playlists you would get confused.  So many different varieties of music.  I pretty much only use it when I run so its all stuff I like to move to.  In any given run you might hear: Justin Timberlake, TheXX, Tribe Called Quest, Deftones, Silver Sun Pickups, Deee-Lite, Ne-Yo, Tori Amos, Adele, Prodigy, Brittney Spears, Phoenix, The Postal Service, The Rolling Stones, Annie Lennox and lots of other misc. stuff.  Notice the lack of country.  Yeah, I don't really do country.  Although I do have one song by the Dixie Chicks. 

I use Napster for my music.  I pay monthly and download whatever I want and change it up as often as I like.  I have to sync it monthly to keep it playing.  Its not that much and works well for me because I change what I listen to so frequently. 

So....do you run with music? Whats on your favorite playlist right now?  Check out the 2 songs I mentioned.  but don't do the Frank Ocean one if the F word offends you.  He says it a lot.

reality check

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and support.  I feel lucky to have such supportive people in my life and its nice to know that I have been able to inspire and motivate some of you.  I don't feel very inspired or motivated myself lately but its coming back a little. 

I think I need a reality check.  Everyone tells me to take it easy on myself because I just had a baby and I don't really buy into that.  I think its a load of crap- just an another excuse to keep me out of the gym and away from my goals.  But there are some valid excuses and I need to accept that some things are going to hold me back and there just isn't much I can do about it.  The important thing is to do what I can and not give up. 

Last week I didn't go to the gym at all. Not once. But I worked a lot.  Work is going to come between me and the gym and unless I get a winning powerball ticket (and that would mean buying one first) I am stuck going to work.  Now I don't HAVE to work 5 shifts in a row.  I don't HAVE to work overtime. I did both of those things last week.  But in my field the overtime is not always there to be had so when it is you kinda need to jump on it.  And lets not forget that I went without a paycheck for quite a while due to Mr. Baby.  But that alone is not enough to make me work overtime.  My managers and fellow staff members have been so welcoming and wonderful to me and I am more than happy to be able to help out whenever and where ever I can.  We are down several nurses, extremely busy AND I have a really flexible babysitter.  So I've been working some extra and changing shifts here and there to be able to accomodate the unit.  It's okay.  In a few weeks they will be putting me on call every other week because its slow, so it will all even out in the end.

Mornings.  This is a big reality check.  I want to get up at 5 every morning and go work out.  How great would that be?  I'd be up and done and home before anyone wakes up.  Doesn't matter what comes up in the day- my work out is already in.  This is a perfect solution.  Except its really not. 

1) My baby doesn't sleep.  Well, he sleeps but wants to nurse about every 2 hours through the night.  I don't really mind (I swear I don't!) but it means broken sleep for me.  That extra hour or 2 in bed in the morning is hard to give up.

 2) it means getting up and pumping a bottle for the baby before I leave and thats a bottle that could be saved for another time when I can't be home.  It also means that Jon has to wake up to feed him that bottle while I am gone. (Not a big deal, I leave it next to the bed and he rolls over and sticks a bottle in his mouth) I know he doesn't really mind but he already has to do this 3 days a week when I work so I know he appreciates not doing it when I am home.

I think as baby gets bigger and sleeps (hopefully) a little better and longer I will get to the morning workouts.  I still am going to do track on Tuesdays when I can but other than that my mornings will be spent lounging in bed with my little nursling. 

So what does all of this mean??  Well, I am not ready to do a sprint tri in August.  If I could train with my coach 4 days a week for the next month and get in some swims and bricks I could be ready but its just not going to happen.  Not with all 3 kids home all week long plus an unpredictable work schedule.  A wonderful friend is letting me borrow a bike trainer to get some bike time in and see how I feel so maybe a miracle will happen over the next month but I doubt it.  I think if I can't DO the race in August I will at least volunteer for it.  I really wanted to meet this goal but I think I need to accept reality.

My reality is just making it to the gym as often as I can and working on weight loss.  I still am planning to do OUC in December.  I'm not ready to let that goal go yet. I think training will be a little easier once the girls are back in school and the baby is a few months older and starting on some solids.  I'm definitely going to pick some 2012 races to train for not sure what.  Maybe St. Anthony's again.  Oh man...can't believe I'm saying that after my near death experiences the last time!  And I have decided I will do a 1/2 iron the year I turn 40.  That's 3 1/2 years.  2014.  I picked St. Croix 70.3 in US Virgin Islands.  Go big or go home.  Who's in???

Here's my stats for the week:

spin class 1

<crickets>

yeah thats it.  But I'm off for the next 3 days so hopefully I'll make it a few more times. 

As for weight loss. I am EXACTLY 30 lbs from my weight at my 1st prenatal visit last August.  I have about a 2lb range of my weight depending on the day and for the past week I have been weighing at the low end of the range every morning.  (yes, I weigh every morning- shut up) So while I haven't technically lost anything, officially. I have been weighing on the lower end of normal almost every time.  Does this make any sense? I am also officially fitting into my fat clothes- the ones I have left since I got rid of a bunch last year.  For the last almost 4 months I have been wearing the same maternity pants or workout pants over and over so its nice to be able to fit some regular clothes again. 

pity party, table for 1

This is so much harder than I thought.  I've felt like a complete failure the past few days.  I just worked 5 days in a row (and we were slammed busy for most of them) the baby had to get formula for the first time because I didn't have enough pumped milk (this one was especially devastating for me) and on top of that he was up every 2 hours at night to eat.  So I worked 12 hour days (which are really more like 13-14 hr days) and I got very broken sleep all night.  I'm exhausted.  And I haven't lost ANY weight in a week or 2.  And last week I was so, so, so good about getting to the gym.  This week I haven't been at all.  Today was my first day off and in addition to being exhausted from working, I also have mountains of laundry to catch up on.  Plus, I've been feeding the baby non-stop all day. 

Doubt I'll make it to the gym tomorrow. and then Friday I'm back to work. 

Right now I just feel like its all pointless.  I don't feel like I'll ever be able to run again.  I feel like doing another tri is never going to happen.  I feel like I'm going to be fat forever.

earlier I saw an ad for red velvet cake ice cream and all I want to do is curl up with that ice cream and a spoon and a crappy movie.

oh man...

Its already Thursday.  Shall I start the recap???

Fail:

-I've eaten my weight in pasta this week. 
-Went out for yogurt at Menchie's (fat free and topped with fruit, not too bad.  I just love those little poppy fruit things you can put on it.  yummmmm)
-Made a gazillion cookies but I had to.  They are supposed to help me produce more milk.  oatmeal, flax seed, brewers yeast and chocolate.  Yeah, I'm sure that chocolate has amazing milk making properties. I have to eat many of these cookies so I can produce lots of milk for the bambino.  I wouldn't even eat cookies if it were about me but its not about me.  Its about the BABY.  cookies for a happy baby. sold.

Win:

-I hit the gym every day.   Plus I did track tuesday and I ran (if it can be called that) 2 other times. 

My running is seriously horrific.  And I know, I know...its 90 million degrees out and I just had a baby and blah blah blah.  I WANT TO BE A RUNNER AGAIN.  This was my mantra as I ran (slowly) tonight.  I kept telling myself I am going to be  a runner again dammit and I tried SOOOO hard to push myself.  And a good song would come on and I'd kinda get in the zone for a sec and then I would be gasping for breath and I'd look down and I'd only gone like 1/4 of a mile and my heart rate was like 180.  1/4 mile REALLY?!?!  The good news is that my heart rate came out of SVT or whatever ungodly rhythm that I put myself in relatively quickly tonight.  And my heart rate didn't get super high til the end (it really was 90 million degrees out) But I just can't seem to get the 'hang' of running again. 

Do you ever have a really fast and/or good song come on and you just start running faster and faster because of the music and you barely realize it until the song is over and all of a sudden you can't breath and realize how fast you were going.  That used to happen to me on my long runs when Prodigy- Smack my Bitch Up would come on. 

I really keep meaning to take pics of stuff to put on here.  Like last night I met some of my amazing friends for dinner and some drinks.  They are friends who I met through training but they definitely aren't just 'training' friends anymore.  We laughed a lot and had a blast.  Would have been a good photo op but I forgot.  I'll try to do better.  Blogs with lots of pics are way more fun to read, I know. 

Somehow I managed to get myself into working the next 5 days.  in a row. dude. that sucks.  Hope those milk cookies really work because I'm gonna be a pumping fool.  not looking forward to this.  plus I have to try to fit in a workout monday, plus work, plus swim lessons for the girls.

this week:

body pump 2x
spin 2x
run 3x (woo-hoo)

total weight loss: 29lbs

so good

     Made it to track today.  Feels so good to be out there.  Its ALWAYS worth it to get up early to be out there, although I may have to remind myself of that next time.  This morning I didn't want to get up, I had a very cozy little 15lb bundle of snuggle curled up with me, but I had set my clothes out last night and I knew I would be disappointed if I didn't go! 

     Training with a group is great.  I think everyone should do it.  My coach is always happy to see me and even though I don't know as many people now there are still familiar faces and new friends.  Everyone is encouraging and supportive and I always push myself more.  I try not to think about how I am running the back of the pack now and a year ago I was more towards the front.  Everyone keeps telling me it will come back, I'm not so sure but I'll keep trying. 

     I've had lots of people this week tell me that they have been going through the same things.  Busy moms trying to fit in time for a run, for the gym, for themselves and still work a full time job and take care of a house and kids.  I've had several people say they would run with me in early morning.  It's awesome to have so many wonderful women in my life who are so supportive and kind.  I hope that I can be just as supportive to all of you. Either in person or through the blog.  I think that is one thing that I love so much about the running/triathlon community.  There is so much support- it doesn't matter if you are first place or last. If you are training for a sprint or an ironman. Everyone is out there and going through it together. 

     If you are reading this (I know people are because you keep telling me you are!) I want you to pick a goal for the fall.  Not a weight loss goal, a fitness goal.  Like a race you want to train for and do, doesn't matter if its a 5k or a 10k or a tri.  But pick something challenging, something you have never done or haven't done in a long time.  Let me know what it is so I can follow you and try to support you along the way. 

My goal is to get back into tri's!  My goal race is Moss Park sprint August 20. 

This is a pic of me and my fabulous coach Sway. 

Moss Park Sprint Spring 2010.  I took 1st in my age group (don't ask how many people were in my age group!)

weekly wrap up

FAIL:

1.  I didn't stay on track AT ALL this week.  With it being a holiday and birthday, plus I had the little cold. Just didn't work out in my favor this week.  I missed several workouts and have been eating lots of junk. 

2. Drove all the way to the pool to swim the big lanes this morning. My friend wasn't there so I turned around and went home. It was 6 am.  I suck but I am not a swim person and I haven't been in the water in a year and I wasn't about to swim the first time alone. I need a buddy to share the lane with me. 

WIN:

1. Despite missing workouts and eating like crap I managed to lose close to 4 lbs this week. It was 4 but I ate a lot the past 2 days so may not be 4 lbs anymore but I'm still calling it 4!!

2. Listening to my body and taking time when I need it is a big win.  Losing weight and getting faster isn't about one workout or one meal or even one week.  Its a cumulative thing- It's about having a bad week and not giving up.  You just start again and keep going.  I have 3 kids and a full time job.  Things are going to come up but it won't keep me from meeting my goals.


TOTALS:

spin class 1x
pump 1x
walk/run 3.3 miles
total weight loss 30 lbs.

Went to the podiatrist today.  Here's the story: When baby was a week or so old I stepped on glass in the kitchen.  It was pretty deep but hubby pulled it out after it happened.  We thought he got it all out but after a day or so it still hurt like there was something there.  He tried to find it but couldn't get it out.  It got a little better but still was sore but I dealt with it.  As I've gotten progressively busier (work, working out) it gotten more and more sore.  So today I went in and had the doc look at it.  (when did you step on glass? 3 months ago- DUH!) They did an xray and saw nothing then took a scalpel and tweezers and dug around a bit.  he said he could see where it went in but didn't see anything there.  At one point it felt a bit better so we are thinking it was a tiny shard that must have come out.  Its still kind of sore but feels different than it did before so I am hoping he got it.  Its hard to run with a little shard of glass in your foot. 

So 3 days of work.  Hoping its not a repeat of last weekend!  Then next week is a new week.

I'm going to hit track, run 2x, swim 1x and of course pump 2x and spin 2x.  I WILL DO IT!!! 

Motivation

I have had an extended weekend off from working out but not from working.  Work was hard this weekend.  12 hour shifts, non-stop on my feet.  And its not only physically but also emotionally draining.  I still feel like I'm not quite in a routine and a bit slow with everything but I feel like its getting much better.  I also work with some really great people and that makes it easier.  But I'm still wiped out after 3 days of work.  I guess I'll probably get used to it eventually.

After my busy work week(end) I was feeling especially run down.  The baby had the sniffles last week and Jon said he was congested and had a sore throat last week.  So I wasn't surprised when I finished off the weekend with a sore throat and stuffy nose.  I took it as a sign that I needed a full day off to rest. I have either worked or been to the gym or run every day for close to 3 weeks. So I didn't spin Monday and I didn't go to track Tuesday.  I am feeling better though, so I guess it was a good call to take the day off. 

Monday was a pretty important holiday around here- the biggest girl turned 7!!  Oh, yeah- it was 4th of July, too.  We had a bbq at a friends house.  It was low key and pretty quiet but wonderful.  The girls had a blast playing and swimming and then went out on a boat to watch fireworks. 

I made it to pump Tuesday but I can't seem to drag myself out of bed early to run.  I wish I could- this morning I was up with plenty of time and the baby was still sleeping but nope, can't seem to do it!  I will go to spin today and maybe get a short run in on the treadmill today afterwards, but I really need to get some longer outside runs in and thats only going to happen if I get up at 6 to run.  I wish I had a running partner.  I like to run solo but its nice when you know there is someone counting on you to be somewhere.  I might not get up for myself at 6am but I will always get up if there is someone else counting on me to! 

I did manage to drop down by almost 4 lbs in the past week.  See, thats how I do it.  I will stay the same for a week or 2 and then boom 3 lbs or so.  It's nice to see the loss on the scale- it keeps me motivated.  I still don't have clothes that fit but I'm getting there.  6 lbs to my next goal.  That's a visit to the MAC counter for those of you keeping track.  YIPPPEEE!!! 

Now to figure out how to get motivated to go for those early morning runs!!  Anyone have any tips??

Weekly wrap up

Yep. Time again for weekly wrap up.  Seems like the past 4 days just flew by. 

FAILS: 

-slept through track- whoops.  I was really, really, really wiped out from my first (of many) stint of 3 days in a row.  And the baby hasn't been sleeping great this week.  I know, excuses, excuses.  The fact is I skipped track.  damn.

-missed Tuesday pump.  This isn't my fault.  I actually did go.  I ran 2.5 miles on the treadmill and then went in to pump but the instructor never showed up.  See, not my fault! They did get someone to fill in but at that point class was already 15 min late and I went to check on baby and he was wide awake so I opted to leave. 

-No run today.  I was actually awake at 4 (with baby) and opted to go back to bed with him rather than run.  I don't regret this decision, I haven't slept a ton this week and my legs are sore (you'll see why when you read my weekly wins!)

-No real weight loss this week.  BOOOOO!!!  And the first person to tell me its because I'm gaining muscle gets poked with a sharp stick!  Looks like it might be a while before I get to goal #2.  I don't really gain or lose very easily and I'm guessing what will happen is that I will all of a sudden drop down by like 4-5 lbs.  Hope it happens soon.

WINS:

-I missed pump on Tuesday.  yep, it was a fail but also a win because since I missed it I went to the gym later on that day and hit a bootcamp class that was really hard but VERY good.  Kinda reminded me a little of the Insanity workouts.  hope to make it back to that class again- I am really sore from it though. 

-I made it to my other classes (spin and pump) and feel like I'm getting a bit stronger.  Both physically and with my cardiovascular endurance.  Didn't have to get called out for baby at all this week. 

-Got my hair cut and colored last night.  My first reward. I like the cut a lot.  I'm still a little unsure on the color.  It took a long time.  I had a LOT of hair.  I left it long but he cut some long layers and took a lot of the bulk out.  I feel like I have no hair now.  It was really pretty unruly and when he was done with my color and cut he took an hour to blow it out.  EEK!  It looked fantastic, too bad I was only going home to feed a baby and watch the finale of The Voice.  Wish I could make it look like that on my own.  But I just don't have that kind of talent or time. 


As an extra special perk of the week, I got to workout for the first time in forever with my wonderful friend, Kristin.  Then we went and met the fabulous Angie for lunch at the local raw food restaurant.  It was super yummy.  I had lasagna and then for dessert we had smores and banana almond fudge ice cream.  All raw and vegan.  They served wine and that really would have made it a perfect meal but I didn't want to rub it in Angie's face that she had to go back to work! well, that and I'm not sure exactly what constitutes a 'raw' wine.  or maybe the wine isn't raw.  I don't know.  It was tasty food with 2 of my favorite peeps, so its the biggest win of the week!

 I guess I should start taking pictures of fun stuff that I do to put on here, huh??


Totals:

Body Pump 1x
Bootcamp   1x
Spin            2x
Run             2.5 miles

weight loss:
weekly- 0
total-    27lbs.

goals and rewards

Little known fact.  I was once an ACE certified personal trainer.  Am I qualified for this?  not really.  But I was helping a friend study for the test and decided to take it myself and since I have this super power of being able to take tests and do amazingly well with very little effort (math excluded) well, I passed and boom...a trainer.  This was, of course, Becca BK (before kids!).  Anyway, my point here is that one thing I remember them stressing on the test is that when setting goals you need to make them SMART

Small
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
T- (ummm I forget the T but you get the point!)

In order to be SMART about my goals I have broken down my weight loss into 10lb increments and for each 10 I get something for me.  This is definitely easier than thinking OMG I have 50 lbs to lose.  10 lbs at a time is easier to handle. 

Here are my rewards for each 10 lbs lost:
1st 10- haircut and color :These first 2 rewards were pretty easy.  I needed a haircut and figured it wouldn't take me that long to drop the first 10!

2nd 10- new makeup (visit to MAC) It's been a very long time since I had a splurge at MAC and its a great way to have a look change.

 3rd10-spa day   This was the hardest one. Not ready for clothes because I will still be in a bigger size but since this will be a big goal and I will likely be hitting a plateau at this point it needs to be big to be a good incentive. 

4th 10-new workout clothes Now I know I can do clothes. Because between the 4th and 5th 10 I will be pretty much in the same size range.  Especially for the running/workout clothes.  I think I want to do a really cute running skirt or 2 and some tops.  I will have earned it at that point.

5th 10-expensive jeans  This will bring me to my pre-pregnancy weight.  That is where I was exactly 1 year ago this month.  I tried to think of something that would be a good reward for getting there and I guess it might sound silly but I want jeans.  I'm really a Ross/TJ Maxx girl and never been one to spend a ton on clothes but I've always wondered what the draw is to expensive jeans.  So when I hit my pre-pregnancy weight I am going to go jean shopping and buy a really nice pair of jeans.  Silly, I guess but it will be fun. 

6th10-satisfaction I  added the extra 10lb but really couldn't think of any reward for it other than the satisfaction of getting there.  Thats enough.  I have never really gotten to this weight, even though it is always my goal weight.  I'm not sure how attainable it is.  I think I might have to cut out wine and cake completely to get there and thats just not an option right now.  I will revisit it when I get closer. 

As of last week I was officially down 10.  Tonight I am going to get my hair cut and colored!!

  Its been just over a month since I started actually 'trying' to lose weight so 10 lbs in one month.  Not too bad.  I can't really lose faster than that while still breastfeeding. But I am thinking that 1-2 months to lose 10 is a good time frame.  I would love to at least get to the running outfit if not the jeans by OUC 1/2 (1st weekend in December).  Its definitely a challenge but I don't think its unrealistic. 

Another way I like to keep track of progress is to keep a pair of jeans that don't fit well and try them on every few days.  It helps me to see the inches, especially since I will go down in size faster than in lbs.  It's a way I can measure progress when I get frustrated that the scale isn't changing. 

Does anyone else do goals and rewards?  How do you measure? What are your rewards? I know that some people are reading and following so some comments pleeeeeeease.

back to the grind

I'm officially back to working full time!  Working all weekend kicked my ass. 

here's my schedule for the past 3 days:

4:45am- get up, feed baby, pump, shower, get ready for work, pack lunch, pack pump
6:00am- leave for work
645a-7ishpm- run my butt off (not literally-unfortunately) at work
730-8ish- drive home
8ish-9:30-eat dinner while feeding baby, talk to hubby and girls
930-10- bed
wake up (partially) multiple times through night to feed baby.
4:45am- cock a doodle doo- there goes the alarm.  (seriously- my alarm is a rooster, its REALLY annoying but I do jump right up when I hear it)

last night I stayed up later because it was true blood and so we had to watch that!!

My legs have been really sore after working but yesterday they weren't as bad.  I bought new shoes (skechers shape-ups) for work, not for the shape up part but just because I have heard good things about them from other nurses.  I think they are getting better its just that 12 hours on your feet is hard no matter what shoes you wear.

I made it to spin class today.  But other than that its been a lazy day.  woke up at 5 but went back to bed, slept late, spin class, lunch, nap with baby.  I think its time for a glass of wine. 

should be doing laundry and cleaning the house. But I'm not. baby is in constant feeding mode so we have been hanging out and napping on and off. 

plan for the week:  same as last week but run 2x instead of 1.  gotta, gotta get up early Thursday and do 3 miles.  so that is spin 2x, pump 2x, run 2x.  I can totally do it.

weekly wrap-up

weekly wrap-up???  But its only Thursday you say.  Yes, but its my Sunday.  This is my first week of being a full time worker.  From this week on, for at least 6 months, I will be working every Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  With just a few exceptions.  (holidays, race days I've requested off and at least one day they asked me to trade due to staffing issues) This is a sucky schedule but this way we only have to use a sitter one day a week.  So that leads me to doing a recap of my week on Thursday nights. 

Shall we begin:

The good:

 ~still trying to figure out how to fit everything in.  Last week I did the gym 4 times but wasn't able to get a run in.  This week I made it, mostly, to all the classes.  I made it through 2 spin classes and 1 pump class and then 30 minutes of pump today before getting called out for a crying baby.  I also added in track workout on Tuesday.  So thats a step up from last week.

~Officially down 10 lbs since I started actually 'trying' to lose baby weight.  It's been just over a month.  Thats a grand total of 26lbs since delivery with 35 still to go but I'm getting close to the halfway mark. And this week I have met one of my 'goals'.  I'll do a post next week about my goals and rewards.   

The bad:

okay not exactly bad but here's what I could do better.  Or what I will shoot for for next week. 
   -spin 2x
   -pump 2x
   -run 2x (track once and a longer run once)
   -get in the pool at least once (as in get in and swim, not get in on a floaty with a margarita)

~I also need to have an alternate workout ready for home for days that I can't do pump.  I meant to come home and do some weights but after about 20 bicep curls I got bored and ended up eating lunch and taking a nap with the baby.  It was a great nap and totally worth it!

~ I really wish I had a way to get on the bike.  I can swim and spin at the gym while baby is in daycare but actual riding (clipping in and out, specifically!) is what I need.  If I can't figure out how to get time on the bike, there is no way I will be ready to race in August.  And if I can't then so be it....but I haven't given up yet. Anyone have a trainer they aren't using! LOL!

The Ugly:

~Bought a swimsuit today.  Got it at Ross super cheap.  Didn't want to spend a ton since I hopefully won't be in it very long.    Its a speedo and should be fine for swimming laps. Now I guess I have no more excuses.  Time to get back to the pool.

In other news....

Tomorrow is baby bear's 1st day with the sitter since its my 1st Friday back.  I know he will do fine.  Hopefully I will.  3 days in a row. UGH! Have I mentioned how I hate 12 hr. shifts.   Hope its not too crazy. 

and

Sunday is the True Blood season premiere!!  woooo-hooo  been waiting FOREVER!!  We're making really yummy tasting but horrible for you food (corn fritters, brie and crackers, doughnuts)  Might not be good for meeting the next weight loss goal but its yummy and fun!

Balance

I probably hear it at least once a day.  Maybe more.  "you're too hard on yourself" I hear it at work.  I hear it all the time from my hubby, my best friends.  I don't ever think I'm thin enough, fast enough, not a good enough mother, nurse, friend, athlete. ever.  I don't know why, I guess its just my personality. 

 It's easy to stay the same.  But it isn't easy to challenge yourself to do something new, to change or to grow.  I always think that I can do better- in everything.  It doesn't mean that I'm not happy with where I am, it just means that I don't want to stay the same.

 Sometimes you know at the end of the race you could have pushed just a little harder.  For example, at my 2nd 1/2 marathon my time was 2:01  I was really happy about it.  But, yeah, part of me was kicking myself.  1 minute and I would have been sub-2 and that would have been AWESOME!  If I had been faster would I have wanted more? Who knows. 

Even though I don't really see this trait as a bad thing, I do understand what people are saying.  I think what they mean is don't be so mean to yourself.  I can be a bit negative.  I don't mean to be its just the way I kick myself in to gear.  But I suppose I could do it in a more positive way.  The other day as I was saying something about being fat my hubby said something along the lines of 'must be hard to hear that about yourself all the time'.  Basically that calling myself names and being negative can't be good for me.   I certainly wouldn't talk to my daughters the way I talk to myself sometimes.  I can work on that.  

Today I went back to track for the first time in a year.  It was hard.  Track sucks  (because its hard work) but it makes you faster. My coach is tough but knows how to push me while still being encouraging and kind.  I wasn't sure about going back so soon but I'm glad I did.  It reminded me that I really love this.  I do want to lose weight and I know I will but mostly I just love training.  I like to run.  I like my team and I'm so happy to be back.  

Made it to the Gym

Decided this was the week to take baby to the gym.   I have a great gym with great childcare.  The little babies are separate from the bigger babies/toddlers and the older kids are not even in the same room/area.  There is a class every day at 12:15 so the plan is to catch that class each day.  Day 1 was spin.  Dropped a pretty awake baby off for the first time.  They said they usually give about 15 minutes and if they are crying/upset after 15 min. they come and get you.  He made it 30 minutes (over 1/2 of spin class)

The next day was body pump.  I dropped a very sleepy baby off and they held him for a few minutes and then put him in the swing where he happily snoozed for all of body pump.  Wed. was spin and he slept the whole class again!  wooo-hooo!!  Thursday he was tired early and I couldn't keep him awake until gym time.  I dropped him off a little early and ran on treadmill 20 min. checked on him and he was doing okay so I went to pump and expected to be called during class but he ended up making it the whole time.  

I managed to do pump twice and spin almost twice.  I'm a little sore from pump but its not too bad.

I want and need to run.  I just don't know where to fit it and I don't want to get hurt by doing too much.  I am going to run this evening for sure. I actually know HOW to fit it in-  I have to wake up at 5 at least 2 days during the week.  feed the baby and then get out to run by 6.  This is my work day routine and it makes sense to do it to run, as well.  I just got lazy while on maternity leave and have started sleeping in.  Plus, baby still wakes up during the night so its easy just to stay in bed.  But next Tuesday I will get out for a morning run

Now I have a schedule set and am going to try my best to stick to it.  Hopefully baby continues to do well in the gym daycare and I am able to do class next week Mon-Fri again as well as add a t/th run.  Once I get that down for a week or 2 I will start thinking about where to add the bike and swim!

I survived

I survived my first weekend at work.  I was worried about leaving baby but shouldn't have been.  Daddy is a pro and does a fantastic job.  Work on the other hand was hard.  12 hours is a long time to be on your feet.  We had one slow-ish day and one really busy day.  Its definitely going to take some time before I feel like I am back up to speed.  And definitely going to take some time before I get used to not having a weekend.  In fact, I might never get used to that. 

I ran Friday night.  3.2 miles 37:40 taking time off but still slow.  The good news is that I stopped to walk exactly 1/10 of a mile and thats it.  Hopefully next time I can not stop at all.  Trying to decide if I should take baby to the gym this week or next.  I'd like to start doing a class at lunchtime mon-thurs but not sure we are ready for gym daycare yet. 

I also put in requests for time off to do the 2 races I want to do and they were approved.  sprint tri at end of august and 1/2 marathon in December.  I don't know if I will be able to do the tri because I won't have time to actually get on a real bike until probably August.  But my time off requests were approved. Not sure exactly how to fit in training for it.  This time last year, I would have said.  'Eh- its only a sprint, I don't need to train' But now I feel like I need the training.  I at least need to get on the bike so I can remember how to clip in and out.  And I really will need to do a couple of bricks.  and get in a few swims.  

Really, I have no idea how to fit in training AND working AND kids.  Guess thats part of why I'm doing this blog.  Trying to sort it all out.  So my goal this week: 

-run at least 2x
-gym (pump and/or spin) at least 2x
-pushups (I'm doing the 100 pushups program) 2-3x/week

And speaking of goals.  I broke my weight loss goals up into 10 lb increments.  I am less than 3 lbs away from my 1st 10 lbs goal as of this morning.  Hopefully will hit it this week or next and then I will get a reward!!

How it happens

How exactly does one gain 61 lbs in 9 months.

 It was the first thing I was worried about when I got pregnant this past time.   "Oh No, I'm going to get fat again!" I gained over 70lbs with my first pregnancy and then got pregnant again pretty quickly and never lost all the weight from the first one.  Gained all of that back and spent the next 4 years trying to get back in shape.  Everyone said it wouldn't happen.  "you're so healthy" "you're so active" blah blah blah  what people don't understand is that I am a fat person.  Even when I am thin, at my heart I'm a fat girl.  I love to eat.  I could just eat and eat and eat.  For me to stay at a reasonable weight (not skinny- I think I've only been truly skinny once in my life and that was in my 20's and not a healthy point in my life) I have to be VERY active.  On the go, all day long.  After I had the girls I lost some weight but to get back to almost my pre-baby body it took training for and completing about 6-7 sprint triathlons, an olympic triathlon, 2 1/2 marathons, a relay run across the state of Florida and several 5k's and 10k's.  Oh yeah, and working full time, and taking care of 2 small children, a house, etc. 

Yeah, it was a lot of work.  But I enjoyed it.  Then I got pregnant again.  I tried to stay active.  I actually did 2 sprint tri's (one as a relay) and a 10k in my first trimester.  But I started a new job that was really busy, I was SO tired and I just couldn't keep up.  I ran until about 18 weeks and went to spin class a few times after that but then Christmas was almost there and new years and before I knew it I hadn't been to the gym in months.  I walked a bit here and there and I have a very active job but it wasn't enough.  The weight just kept coming and coming.  And yes, I ate.  A lot!  But I always eat a lot.  I just wasn't nearly as active as I need to be to burn it off.  And pregnancy makes that inner fat girl really take over.  She wants CAKE! She wants to watch TV and take NAPS!!  I indulged her. 


Baby Luke

8lbs 13oz

 So thats how it happened...61 lbs. in 38wks 6 days.  It was all worth it for my sweet boy.  Maybe I didn't need every cookie or piece of cake.  Maybe I should have forced myself to go out and walk more instead of napping.  But I ate the cake, I took the naps. I enjoyed every second of it!   Now the inner fat girl isn't so inner anymore but the thinner me is wanting to make a come back.  Enough naps, enough cake! its time to get active! Who am I kidding, there will still be naps and cake, but there will also be running, lots and lots of running!

A long way to go to get back to where I was...

Haven't really done much with this blogging thing because I'm not exactly sure what to do.  The blogs I read are so witty and entertaining and I'm so not...but I want to keep up with it.  So I'm going to try. 

Got back on sparkpeople and started tracking calories. Its so much work but I lost 4 lbs that week.  I was also starving the entire week and I think I may have been restricting too much.  I ate more the next week and didn't really lose much.  That's frustrating.  I feel like if I am starving then I am risking my milk supply so I decided to try to make good food decisions but I just can't do the daily tracking.  It makes me obsessive.  I may have slower weight loss but at least I will be able to feed my baby.  Total weight gain with pregnancy was 61 lbs and I've lost 23 as of this morning.  Still a long way to go to get back to where I was.   Still not fitting in my clothes.  I've bought a few things but don't want to buy a lot because I am not planning on staying here. 

Started running again.  I've been doing 2-3 miles about 3-4x/week.  I have a loop around the neighborhood that is a 5k distance.  My first time running it (more of a jog/walk) was 42:30.  O.M.G. sllllloooooowwww.  I have my time down to under 39 min. now.  (before pregnancy I was doing about 27min 5k's) But in just 2 weeks I've cut time off, I'm walking less and recovering faster.  Still a long way to go to get back to where I was but seeing a little progress. 

Where I was!
Me at St. Anthony's Olympic Tri last year. time 3:10:48

Want to get into the gym- my goal is to do a class m-th at the gym.  they have a spin class mon/wed and body pump tue/thurs.  I'd like to do a swim 2 of those days and I will have to run early in the morning.  WOW- sounds like a lot.  Unfortunately, because of my work schedule I have to pack a weeks worth of workouts into 4 days.  I know it will take me a while to build up to this but it's a goal!  Of course, I need to decide when I want to start taking the baby to the gym.  He will be 10 wks old this week and they start taking babies at 6 wks. but that seems so little!  Maybe I'll try just 2 days next week. 

Guess if I had any followers I could ask what age you would start taking a baby to the gym? I suppose I should let some people know how to find my blog so that maybe people could follow me!

Hello Bloggy World!!!

I don't exactly have a ton of free time.  Well, right now I kind of do.  Since I am currently on maternity leave and my only real obligation is to feed and diaper a newborn.  And of course the 2 older kids need to be taken care of, but they are at school all day until summer.  So mostly its just me and the little guy. 

Soon enough my life will be back to chaos.  3 kids, full time job, husband, house, laundry....and of course, on top of all that I am planning to train for 2 races this year.   I don't consider myself an athlete. I just like to try new things.   In 2009 I decided to train for a triathlon- just a sprint, I didn't know how to swim and I didn't own a bike.  By the time race day arrived I not only had a bike and could swim, I also had a coach and a team and had signed up for another race!!  I wasn't the fastest out there but I had so much fun.  Over the next year I completed 4 or 5 sprint triathlons, 1 olympic tri, 2- 1/2 marathons and a relay run across the state of Florida. I also managed to get almost to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I was thinking about training for a 1/2 ironman and I broke my toe.   Then I went on vacation. Then I got pregnant.  My plans changed. 

I swore I wasn't going to gain a lot this pregnancy but much like the previous pregnancies I did.  61 lbs. to be exact.  I swore I was going to be active the whole time.  I ran through about 17wks and I did spin through about 20 wks.  I'm just a lazy pregnant person!

So here I am.  50 lbs to lose.  Haven't run a step in 7 months.  3 week old baby. 

So why blog??  I love to read other peoples blogs.  Especially other moms who are trying to fit in way too much.  It makes me feel not so alone.  It also holds you accountable and who knows maybe I'll inspire someone to do something outside their comfort zone.

I don't know how well training will go.  I don't know how I'm going to do parenting 3 children and I don't know how good I will be at updating a blog BUT I am going to do what I can and hope for the best.  And when my best isn't good enough there's always wine!!

Welcome to my world!