this week

I'm going to run. 

track tuesday.

a longish run on another day (longish for my current ability so, like 3-ish miles).

I want to be a runner again.  Need to just DO IT!

RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. 

Time for a facelift

For the blog...not for me.  I think I have a few more good years before I have to start thinking facelift for me! 

So what do you think???  The other layout was crappy, I know.  I'm new to this bloggy thing and still trying to figure it all out.  But I think this is much better.  I'll try to keep making changes as I learn more. 

This week was definitely a better week, for the most part.  Here's the stats:

spin 3x
run 1x (only a mile!)
pump 1x

weight loss 0

Since last week I did NOTHING thats a pretty good week.  I do wish the weight would start coming off a bit faster, though.  Next week I really need to figure out how to get in some running time.  And maybe I can actually get in the pool once. 

Anyone hear of the book "The Eat Clean Diet" by Tosca Reno?  I've heard some good things about it.  Not really a diet so much as a way to eat healthier and cut back on the refined processed crap.  Guess she has some good tips, recipes and food ideas to incorporate into a normal busy life.  Maybe I will get and review for my followers.  All 11 of you!

If I can get in a swim and some running next week I might re-visit the idea of doing the 8/20 tri.  I'm still thinking its not likely but I'll keep you posted.  Gotta take it day by day!

music makes the run faster

Had a GREAT workout last night! A good spin class followed by a 1 mile run.  Not a huge workout but a good one! The run was the best I've felt running since I started running again.  Now it was only 1 mile but it was straight off of the bike.  I went to pump today and was thinking about running but probably won't get to it.  Thats okay though I can keep last nights run fresh in my mind for a while longer.  A year ago I would laugh about being so excited about a measly 1 mile.  I don't even know how fast it was I didn't wear a watch at all.  It was probably a 12 minute mile- but I felt fast and thats what matters right now.

Last night I was listening to a new playlist and thinking how much music can make the run better.  I can (and have) run w/o music.  My mp3 player wasn't working during gasparilla 1/2 and I had to run w/o music.  That was a PR race for me, too.  2:01  I never run with music at track and sometimes on training runs with the group I chat instead of listen.  On my own, though, I am usually listening to something.

I'm always looking for music thats good for running.  Last  night Dog days of Summer by Florence and the Machines came on and it was awesome.  It even tells you to run fast in the song!!  Also loving Novocane by Frank Ocean.  Its dirty but I like it.  I think if you ran through my playlists you would get confused.  So many different varieties of music.  I pretty much only use it when I run so its all stuff I like to move to.  In any given run you might hear: Justin Timberlake, TheXX, Tribe Called Quest, Deftones, Silver Sun Pickups, Deee-Lite, Ne-Yo, Tori Amos, Adele, Prodigy, Brittney Spears, Phoenix, The Postal Service, The Rolling Stones, Annie Lennox and lots of other misc. stuff.  Notice the lack of country.  Yeah, I don't really do country.  Although I do have one song by the Dixie Chicks. 

I use Napster for my music.  I pay monthly and download whatever I want and change it up as often as I like.  I have to sync it monthly to keep it playing.  Its not that much and works well for me because I change what I listen to so frequently. 

So....do you run with music? Whats on your favorite playlist right now?  Check out the 2 songs I mentioned.  but don't do the Frank Ocean one if the F word offends you.  He says it a lot.

reality check

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and support.  I feel lucky to have such supportive people in my life and its nice to know that I have been able to inspire and motivate some of you.  I don't feel very inspired or motivated myself lately but its coming back a little. 

I think I need a reality check.  Everyone tells me to take it easy on myself because I just had a baby and I don't really buy into that.  I think its a load of crap- just an another excuse to keep me out of the gym and away from my goals.  But there are some valid excuses and I need to accept that some things are going to hold me back and there just isn't much I can do about it.  The important thing is to do what I can and not give up. 

Last week I didn't go to the gym at all. Not once. But I worked a lot.  Work is going to come between me and the gym and unless I get a winning powerball ticket (and that would mean buying one first) I am stuck going to work.  Now I don't HAVE to work 5 shifts in a row.  I don't HAVE to work overtime. I did both of those things last week.  But in my field the overtime is not always there to be had so when it is you kinda need to jump on it.  And lets not forget that I went without a paycheck for quite a while due to Mr. Baby.  But that alone is not enough to make me work overtime.  My managers and fellow staff members have been so welcoming and wonderful to me and I am more than happy to be able to help out whenever and where ever I can.  We are down several nurses, extremely busy AND I have a really flexible babysitter.  So I've been working some extra and changing shifts here and there to be able to accomodate the unit.  It's okay.  In a few weeks they will be putting me on call every other week because its slow, so it will all even out in the end.

Mornings.  This is a big reality check.  I want to get up at 5 every morning and go work out.  How great would that be?  I'd be up and done and home before anyone wakes up.  Doesn't matter what comes up in the day- my work out is already in.  This is a perfect solution.  Except its really not. 

1) My baby doesn't sleep.  Well, he sleeps but wants to nurse about every 2 hours through the night.  I don't really mind (I swear I don't!) but it means broken sleep for me.  That extra hour or 2 in bed in the morning is hard to give up.

 2) it means getting up and pumping a bottle for the baby before I leave and thats a bottle that could be saved for another time when I can't be home.  It also means that Jon has to wake up to feed him that bottle while I am gone. (Not a big deal, I leave it next to the bed and he rolls over and sticks a bottle in his mouth) I know he doesn't really mind but he already has to do this 3 days a week when I work so I know he appreciates not doing it when I am home.

I think as baby gets bigger and sleeps (hopefully) a little better and longer I will get to the morning workouts.  I still am going to do track on Tuesdays when I can but other than that my mornings will be spent lounging in bed with my little nursling. 

So what does all of this mean??  Well, I am not ready to do a sprint tri in August.  If I could train with my coach 4 days a week for the next month and get in some swims and bricks I could be ready but its just not going to happen.  Not with all 3 kids home all week long plus an unpredictable work schedule.  A wonderful friend is letting me borrow a bike trainer to get some bike time in and see how I feel so maybe a miracle will happen over the next month but I doubt it.  I think if I can't DO the race in August I will at least volunteer for it.  I really wanted to meet this goal but I think I need to accept reality.

My reality is just making it to the gym as often as I can and working on weight loss.  I still am planning to do OUC in December.  I'm not ready to let that goal go yet. I think training will be a little easier once the girls are back in school and the baby is a few months older and starting on some solids.  I'm definitely going to pick some 2012 races to train for not sure what.  Maybe St. Anthony's again.  Oh man...can't believe I'm saying that after my near death experiences the last time!  And I have decided I will do a 1/2 iron the year I turn 40.  That's 3 1/2 years.  2014.  I picked St. Croix 70.3 in US Virgin Islands.  Go big or go home.  Who's in???

Here's my stats for the week:

spin class 1

<crickets>

yeah thats it.  But I'm off for the next 3 days so hopefully I'll make it a few more times. 

As for weight loss. I am EXACTLY 30 lbs from my weight at my 1st prenatal visit last August.  I have about a 2lb range of my weight depending on the day and for the past week I have been weighing at the low end of the range every morning.  (yes, I weigh every morning- shut up) So while I haven't technically lost anything, officially. I have been weighing on the lower end of normal almost every time.  Does this make any sense? I am also officially fitting into my fat clothes- the ones I have left since I got rid of a bunch last year.  For the last almost 4 months I have been wearing the same maternity pants or workout pants over and over so its nice to be able to fit some regular clothes again. 

pity party, table for 1

This is so much harder than I thought.  I've felt like a complete failure the past few days.  I just worked 5 days in a row (and we were slammed busy for most of them) the baby had to get formula for the first time because I didn't have enough pumped milk (this one was especially devastating for me) and on top of that he was up every 2 hours at night to eat.  So I worked 12 hour days (which are really more like 13-14 hr days) and I got very broken sleep all night.  I'm exhausted.  And I haven't lost ANY weight in a week or 2.  And last week I was so, so, so good about getting to the gym.  This week I haven't been at all.  Today was my first day off and in addition to being exhausted from working, I also have mountains of laundry to catch up on.  Plus, I've been feeding the baby non-stop all day. 

Doubt I'll make it to the gym tomorrow. and then Friday I'm back to work. 

Right now I just feel like its all pointless.  I don't feel like I'll ever be able to run again.  I feel like doing another tri is never going to happen.  I feel like I'm going to be fat forever.

earlier I saw an ad for red velvet cake ice cream and all I want to do is curl up with that ice cream and a spoon and a crappy movie.

oh man...

Its already Thursday.  Shall I start the recap???

Fail:

-I've eaten my weight in pasta this week. 
-Went out for yogurt at Menchie's (fat free and topped with fruit, not too bad.  I just love those little poppy fruit things you can put on it.  yummmmm)
-Made a gazillion cookies but I had to.  They are supposed to help me produce more milk.  oatmeal, flax seed, brewers yeast and chocolate.  Yeah, I'm sure that chocolate has amazing milk making properties. I have to eat many of these cookies so I can produce lots of milk for the bambino.  I wouldn't even eat cookies if it were about me but its not about me.  Its about the BABY.  cookies for a happy baby. sold.

Win:

-I hit the gym every day.   Plus I did track tuesday and I ran (if it can be called that) 2 other times. 

My running is seriously horrific.  And I know, I know...its 90 million degrees out and I just had a baby and blah blah blah.  I WANT TO BE A RUNNER AGAIN.  This was my mantra as I ran (slowly) tonight.  I kept telling myself I am going to be  a runner again dammit and I tried SOOOO hard to push myself.  And a good song would come on and I'd kinda get in the zone for a sec and then I would be gasping for breath and I'd look down and I'd only gone like 1/4 of a mile and my heart rate was like 180.  1/4 mile REALLY?!?!  The good news is that my heart rate came out of SVT or whatever ungodly rhythm that I put myself in relatively quickly tonight.  And my heart rate didn't get super high til the end (it really was 90 million degrees out) But I just can't seem to get the 'hang' of running again. 

Do you ever have a really fast and/or good song come on and you just start running faster and faster because of the music and you barely realize it until the song is over and all of a sudden you can't breath and realize how fast you were going.  That used to happen to me on my long runs when Prodigy- Smack my Bitch Up would come on. 

I really keep meaning to take pics of stuff to put on here.  Like last night I met some of my amazing friends for dinner and some drinks.  They are friends who I met through training but they definitely aren't just 'training' friends anymore.  We laughed a lot and had a blast.  Would have been a good photo op but I forgot.  I'll try to do better.  Blogs with lots of pics are way more fun to read, I know. 

Somehow I managed to get myself into working the next 5 days.  in a row. dude. that sucks.  Hope those milk cookies really work because I'm gonna be a pumping fool.  not looking forward to this.  plus I have to try to fit in a workout monday, plus work, plus swim lessons for the girls.

this week:

body pump 2x
spin 2x
run 3x (woo-hoo)

total weight loss: 29lbs

so good

     Made it to track today.  Feels so good to be out there.  Its ALWAYS worth it to get up early to be out there, although I may have to remind myself of that next time.  This morning I didn't want to get up, I had a very cozy little 15lb bundle of snuggle curled up with me, but I had set my clothes out last night and I knew I would be disappointed if I didn't go! 

     Training with a group is great.  I think everyone should do it.  My coach is always happy to see me and even though I don't know as many people now there are still familiar faces and new friends.  Everyone is encouraging and supportive and I always push myself more.  I try not to think about how I am running the back of the pack now and a year ago I was more towards the front.  Everyone keeps telling me it will come back, I'm not so sure but I'll keep trying. 

     I've had lots of people this week tell me that they have been going through the same things.  Busy moms trying to fit in time for a run, for the gym, for themselves and still work a full time job and take care of a house and kids.  I've had several people say they would run with me in early morning.  It's awesome to have so many wonderful women in my life who are so supportive and kind.  I hope that I can be just as supportive to all of you. Either in person or through the blog.  I think that is one thing that I love so much about the running/triathlon community.  There is so much support- it doesn't matter if you are first place or last. If you are training for a sprint or an ironman. Everyone is out there and going through it together. 

     If you are reading this (I know people are because you keep telling me you are!) I want you to pick a goal for the fall.  Not a weight loss goal, a fitness goal.  Like a race you want to train for and do, doesn't matter if its a 5k or a 10k or a tri.  But pick something challenging, something you have never done or haven't done in a long time.  Let me know what it is so I can follow you and try to support you along the way. 

My goal is to get back into tri's!  My goal race is Moss Park sprint August 20. 

This is a pic of me and my fabulous coach Sway. 

Moss Park Sprint Spring 2010.  I took 1st in my age group (don't ask how many people were in my age group!)

weekly wrap up

FAIL:

1.  I didn't stay on track AT ALL this week.  With it being a holiday and birthday, plus I had the little cold. Just didn't work out in my favor this week.  I missed several workouts and have been eating lots of junk. 

2. Drove all the way to the pool to swim the big lanes this morning. My friend wasn't there so I turned around and went home. It was 6 am.  I suck but I am not a swim person and I haven't been in the water in a year and I wasn't about to swim the first time alone. I need a buddy to share the lane with me. 

WIN:

1. Despite missing workouts and eating like crap I managed to lose close to 4 lbs this week. It was 4 but I ate a lot the past 2 days so may not be 4 lbs anymore but I'm still calling it 4!!

2. Listening to my body and taking time when I need it is a big win.  Losing weight and getting faster isn't about one workout or one meal or even one week.  Its a cumulative thing- It's about having a bad week and not giving up.  You just start again and keep going.  I have 3 kids and a full time job.  Things are going to come up but it won't keep me from meeting my goals.


TOTALS:

spin class 1x
pump 1x
walk/run 3.3 miles
total weight loss 30 lbs.

Went to the podiatrist today.  Here's the story: When baby was a week or so old I stepped on glass in the kitchen.  It was pretty deep but hubby pulled it out after it happened.  We thought he got it all out but after a day or so it still hurt like there was something there.  He tried to find it but couldn't get it out.  It got a little better but still was sore but I dealt with it.  As I've gotten progressively busier (work, working out) it gotten more and more sore.  So today I went in and had the doc look at it.  (when did you step on glass? 3 months ago- DUH!) They did an xray and saw nothing then took a scalpel and tweezers and dug around a bit.  he said he could see where it went in but didn't see anything there.  At one point it felt a bit better so we are thinking it was a tiny shard that must have come out.  Its still kind of sore but feels different than it did before so I am hoping he got it.  Its hard to run with a little shard of glass in your foot. 

So 3 days of work.  Hoping its not a repeat of last weekend!  Then next week is a new week.

I'm going to hit track, run 2x, swim 1x and of course pump 2x and spin 2x.  I WILL DO IT!!! 

Motivation

I have had an extended weekend off from working out but not from working.  Work was hard this weekend.  12 hour shifts, non-stop on my feet.  And its not only physically but also emotionally draining.  I still feel like I'm not quite in a routine and a bit slow with everything but I feel like its getting much better.  I also work with some really great people and that makes it easier.  But I'm still wiped out after 3 days of work.  I guess I'll probably get used to it eventually.

After my busy work week(end) I was feeling especially run down.  The baby had the sniffles last week and Jon said he was congested and had a sore throat last week.  So I wasn't surprised when I finished off the weekend with a sore throat and stuffy nose.  I took it as a sign that I needed a full day off to rest. I have either worked or been to the gym or run every day for close to 3 weeks. So I didn't spin Monday and I didn't go to track Tuesday.  I am feeling better though, so I guess it was a good call to take the day off. 

Monday was a pretty important holiday around here- the biggest girl turned 7!!  Oh, yeah- it was 4th of July, too.  We had a bbq at a friends house.  It was low key and pretty quiet but wonderful.  The girls had a blast playing and swimming and then went out on a boat to watch fireworks. 

I made it to pump Tuesday but I can't seem to drag myself out of bed early to run.  I wish I could- this morning I was up with plenty of time and the baby was still sleeping but nope, can't seem to do it!  I will go to spin today and maybe get a short run in on the treadmill today afterwards, but I really need to get some longer outside runs in and thats only going to happen if I get up at 6 to run.  I wish I had a running partner.  I like to run solo but its nice when you know there is someone counting on you to be somewhere.  I might not get up for myself at 6am but I will always get up if there is someone else counting on me to! 

I did manage to drop down by almost 4 lbs in the past week.  See, thats how I do it.  I will stay the same for a week or 2 and then boom 3 lbs or so.  It's nice to see the loss on the scale- it keeps me motivated.  I still don't have clothes that fit but I'm getting there.  6 lbs to my next goal.  That's a visit to the MAC counter for those of you keeping track.  YIPPPEEE!!! 

Now to figure out how to get motivated to go for those early morning runs!!  Anyone have any tips??