reality check

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and support.  I feel lucky to have such supportive people in my life and its nice to know that I have been able to inspire and motivate some of you.  I don't feel very inspired or motivated myself lately but its coming back a little. 

I think I need a reality check.  Everyone tells me to take it easy on myself because I just had a baby and I don't really buy into that.  I think its a load of crap- just an another excuse to keep me out of the gym and away from my goals.  But there are some valid excuses and I need to accept that some things are going to hold me back and there just isn't much I can do about it.  The important thing is to do what I can and not give up. 

Last week I didn't go to the gym at all. Not once. But I worked a lot.  Work is going to come between me and the gym and unless I get a winning powerball ticket (and that would mean buying one first) I am stuck going to work.  Now I don't HAVE to work 5 shifts in a row.  I don't HAVE to work overtime. I did both of those things last week.  But in my field the overtime is not always there to be had so when it is you kinda need to jump on it.  And lets not forget that I went without a paycheck for quite a while due to Mr. Baby.  But that alone is not enough to make me work overtime.  My managers and fellow staff members have been so welcoming and wonderful to me and I am more than happy to be able to help out whenever and where ever I can.  We are down several nurses, extremely busy AND I have a really flexible babysitter.  So I've been working some extra and changing shifts here and there to be able to accomodate the unit.  It's okay.  In a few weeks they will be putting me on call every other week because its slow, so it will all even out in the end.

Mornings.  This is a big reality check.  I want to get up at 5 every morning and go work out.  How great would that be?  I'd be up and done and home before anyone wakes up.  Doesn't matter what comes up in the day- my work out is already in.  This is a perfect solution.  Except its really not. 

1) My baby doesn't sleep.  Well, he sleeps but wants to nurse about every 2 hours through the night.  I don't really mind (I swear I don't!) but it means broken sleep for me.  That extra hour or 2 in bed in the morning is hard to give up.

 2) it means getting up and pumping a bottle for the baby before I leave and thats a bottle that could be saved for another time when I can't be home.  It also means that Jon has to wake up to feed him that bottle while I am gone. (Not a big deal, I leave it next to the bed and he rolls over and sticks a bottle in his mouth) I know he doesn't really mind but he already has to do this 3 days a week when I work so I know he appreciates not doing it when I am home.

I think as baby gets bigger and sleeps (hopefully) a little better and longer I will get to the morning workouts.  I still am going to do track on Tuesdays when I can but other than that my mornings will be spent lounging in bed with my little nursling. 

So what does all of this mean??  Well, I am not ready to do a sprint tri in August.  If I could train with my coach 4 days a week for the next month and get in some swims and bricks I could be ready but its just not going to happen.  Not with all 3 kids home all week long plus an unpredictable work schedule.  A wonderful friend is letting me borrow a bike trainer to get some bike time in and see how I feel so maybe a miracle will happen over the next month but I doubt it.  I think if I can't DO the race in August I will at least volunteer for it.  I really wanted to meet this goal but I think I need to accept reality.

My reality is just making it to the gym as often as I can and working on weight loss.  I still am planning to do OUC in December.  I'm not ready to let that goal go yet. I think training will be a little easier once the girls are back in school and the baby is a few months older and starting on some solids.  I'm definitely going to pick some 2012 races to train for not sure what.  Maybe St. Anthony's again.  Oh man...can't believe I'm saying that after my near death experiences the last time!  And I have decided I will do a 1/2 iron the year I turn 40.  That's 3 1/2 years.  2014.  I picked St. Croix 70.3 in US Virgin Islands.  Go big or go home.  Who's in???

Here's my stats for the week:

spin class 1

<crickets>

yeah thats it.  But I'm off for the next 3 days so hopefully I'll make it a few more times. 

As for weight loss. I am EXACTLY 30 lbs from my weight at my 1st prenatal visit last August.  I have about a 2lb range of my weight depending on the day and for the past week I have been weighing at the low end of the range every morning.  (yes, I weigh every morning- shut up) So while I haven't technically lost anything, officially. I have been weighing on the lower end of normal almost every time.  Does this make any sense? I am also officially fitting into my fat clothes- the ones I have left since I got rid of a bunch last year.  For the last almost 4 months I have been wearing the same maternity pants or workout pants over and over so its nice to be able to fit some regular clothes again.